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Seduction Profile: The Ideal Lover

The Ideal Lover Dissected

The ideal lover makes up for what other men lack. He adds a sensible and logical application to romance delivered in a thoughtful manor. He can make great husband material, when given clear direction and learns to balance logical and emotional sides.


Before you read about the ideal lover, make sure to read the introduction to all the seduction profiles or take the quiz (released 2018).


Here’s your prince charming your mom told you about…

Here’s the guy who does it right for once, when other men can’t quite step up in the dedicated partner department. Initially you were attracted to him, because he had qualities you lacked but felt you needed in your life. This includes receiving well thought out gifts very fitting to your likes. He courts you. He’s there to make your life run smoothly by offering a helping hand whenever he can. He helps and complete projects, repairs, or any task you need a hand with, when your life gets too busy. The ideal lover does everything logical in his power to be a great partner. Here’s the icing on the cake: As time goes on, his attention steadily increases making you a top priority.


At the very least, ideal lovers have financial awareness. Often ideal lover’s have substantial financial knowledge and savings beyond their years. Young ideal lovers often work towards financial security and freedom. He can financially take care of you. Having money would be the most logical way to be a great provider, so it fits the ideal lover profile nicely. Of course, this may turn into him critiquing your financial habits.


Be advised things may not be as they appear. You might think he drives a crappy car, because he cant afford it, or you might think he’s a mama’s boy, because he still lives at home. However, the reality remains, as long as he’s ambitious and working, he’s really just financially smart saving money living at home and driving a crappy car. His financial intelligence may be an opportunity for you ranging from learning financial management to marrying rich, so don’t judge a book by it’s cover.


He almost never aggressively peruses woman. It’s often the woman heading the pursuit. This sometimes causes woman to abandon pursuit prematurely. It’s not for lack of interest on his part, but rather he may not see or understand your pursuit. Woman pursuing ideal lovers must be blatantly obvious displaying their interest.

When I met my last ideal lover boyfriend, I decided I wanted date him to finally be treated right and truly loved. The ideal lover falls hard for woman he steadily increases his attention for. This makes him loyal with almost a fidelity guarantee.

Where the ideal lover goes wrong…

The ideal lover was raised to treat woman properly and respectfully. His mother failed to mention, mostly because she’s in denial too, that most woman accustom to more of an aggressive male figure. The problem remains woman continually writing the ideal lover off. After being in a relationship with him for some time, they may become bored or take him for-granted.


Also, with the ideal lover’s critical nature, sometimes woman feel they can’t live up to his ideals or he’s trying to mold her into something she’s not. It’s a fine line between the happiest longest relationship of your life, and completely taking him for-granted, feeling overwhelmed with criticism, and tiring from lack of emotional communication.


Too much logic…Not enough emotion…

The ideal lover aims to please, so you can tell him exactly what you need. Here’s the problem: With emotional requests he doesn’t have the emotional and social intelligence to understand thus hindering him from executing properly. He may come close to matching your request the best he knows in a logical way, but he still comes up short.


He remains comfortably nestled in his logical side, which makes him far too extreme and unbalanced. The ideal lover often struggles acknowledging his emotions. He struggles even more than other men, when called to express himself emotionally. Although to credit the ideal lover, once he does come around to emotionally expressing himself, you see a fuller range of complete emotional expression compared to other men.  Other men often resort to anger, as the most popular emotional expression accepted and promoted culturally.


In my early twenties, I cried my eyes out after my boyfriend left. I had a close ideal lover roommate. He knew I needed consoling, so he asked “What can I do”. I asked him to sit with me. He went and got his laptop, sat down on the chair opposite me, and proceeded to type on it all night, while i balled me eyes out. What a perfect example of an ideal lover taking what you say completely literally and logically. He came from the right place and was very concerned, but emotionally he didn’t know what to do.


In the case above, since I was dealing with an ideal lover, I ought to have clearly and directly communicated what I needed. Most emotionally intelligent individuals know how to console people, but the ideal lover struggles with emotional displays. I should have told him: I need you to sit beside me, listen to me talk, and rub my back.


Not the best socially…

Socially he may be a little more clueless. While not all ideal lovers may be this extreme, this seduction profile contains a high number of introverts with varying levels of social anxiety. This may cause woman dating ideal lovers to sometimes feel embarrassed in social situations by their partner’s behavior. Sometimes, their social struggles come from being too intelligent and not being able to bring it down a notch according to their crowd. They may not understand others in the room don’t operate completely on a logical level.

The critic…

He’s strong on his opinions. If you have logical potentials to reach, he’ll lift you up, encourage, and inspire you to be your best. But beware, if you’re doing something illogical or ruled by your emotions or heart’s desire, he will challenge and critique you.


Everything comes from a logical place according to the ideal lover’s thoughts, because they have operated their whole lives on logic. They truly are analytical creatures. They won’t take risks unless it’s calculated risk. Some choices can only be made from the heart or emotions, but due to their logical analytical nature they struggle processing this concept. They try their hardest to turn it into something logical. We know the ideal lover heavily relies on his logical side causing him to come up short, because he neglected to even consider the emotional parts.


Because he’s logical and intelligent, he can be stubborn. The ideal lover knows the most logical way to do things, and to him, that’s the only correct way to do things. He’s thought it through logically, so he thinks you better do it that way too.

When you take the emotion out of things, you miss out on heart’s desire, risks, and being open minded. It removes some of the beauty from life, and they don’t even know they’re missing out.

Unfortunately, the criticism was a large part of why I ended it with my last ideal lover boyfriend. Not the only reason, but knowing how to manage the criticism means you try within reason to improve or save your relationship.

Full frontal disclosure…

I use defense strategies and seduction profiling, as part of my relationship coaching. They will help you manage his critical side and assist in creating a dedicated partnership using communication with your ideal lover. Most individuals will find the below defense strategies difficult to execute, but generally they improve most scenarios. However, all relationships have unique components. In addition to seduction profiling, defense strategies, I use my own experience, knowledge, intuition, and unique tasks assigned to individuals and their relationship, as part of my intuitive relationship coaching packages to match client needs. I love helping woman meet relationship goals and become the best versions of themselves. Please feel free to contact me for assistance in executing properly for your unique situation whether you’re in a relationship, seeing someone, or currently single. As long as you have a goal of one day having a dedicated partner, you can work with me.


Also, most of these strategies refer to building relationships to meet the goal of a dedicated partnership. If you’re already married or together for an extensive amount of time, similar strategies can be used to renew and excite your situation, so please reach out to me for more information.

Finally, if you have any comments, questions, concerns, or a different situation you’d like to discuss, please give me a shout via email or Facebook.


Liked this post? If you feel a few of your lady friends can use a leg up building a dedicated partnership, learning about seduction profiling, defense strategies, and becoming the best version of themselves, please share!

Defense Strategies 

Task 1: Be a little ideal lover yourself…

Give a little. Ideal lovers appreciate, when you do things their way. Do little things their way, and meet them half way negotiating on larger things. At the same time, respect your deal breakers (defined below). The rest can be negotiated or done his way.


Definitely know his love language (acts of service, gifts, physical touch, quality time, or words of affirmation). He appreciates love according to his language. It’s logical to him. This will strengthen your credibility gaining you respect and appreciation.


Here’s another way to win. If he’s critiquing you on something often, then play into it. Give in a bit within reason by doing what he says and asking for his advice.


For example, if he critiques your spending habits, you can save some money then ask for his investment advice. In this case, you did it his way plus asked for his opinion. Killing two birds with one stone. That ought to turn his crank. He’ll probably sit down and do all the investment work for you. Then you’ve gained credibility, made him happy, and probably will get some future leeway.


Task 2: Tell him exactly what you need…

Remember don’t pull the plug prematurely. He’s a good guy looking to please. Tell him every little step and don’t leave out any details. You need to describe emotional needs simply and specifically. Don’t assume they know, because the ideal lover falls short emotionally and socially. They want to please, so there’s a good chance they will listen. The biggest issue with ideal lovers remains trying to overcome the communication gap. Communicate in a way he understands. Ask yourself how you can somehow phrase your emotional needs in a logical way.


They may try to combat serious conversations by putting a logical spin on it or turning to humor. This makes it difficult to have serious conversations, and sometimes you can’t quite put your finger on it but that’s your answer. If he resorts to this behavior repeatedly, you may need stonewall him and express your seriousness. Emotional conversations build relationships, and they cannot survive without them.


Before any serious relationship, the ideal lover thinks relationships can survive without emotional communication. Will he realize this before it’s too late? The ideal lover must step up to the plate here. If he continually fails to follow through on this part, it equals trouble. Tell him to give me a shout. Send this quiz to his email to drop him a huge hint ;).


Task 3: Hold strong against his critiques…

As mentioned above, the ideal lover has a critical side. It comes from a caring place, but his lack of emotional intelligence makes him go too far sometimes. Constantly hearing how you can do things differently wears on a girl, but hear me out for a second.


Because he’s logical and intelligent, he may have something of value to offer. My last ideal lover boyfriend taught me tons about financial freedom, investing, and home renovation. Before your ego flares up, check yourself. Can you be better with the info he’s giving you? He might offer you a chance to grow.


Then there’s the flip side. You feel he’s constantly critiquing you on something that shouldn’t be a big deal. For example, my last ideal lover boyfriend was obsessed with a clean house. I watched my fifty-six year old mother die, and decided a clean house wasn’t the most important thing in life. While I do value a clean house, I’m not a clean freak. He inspired me to keep a clean house, and I thought I was doing good meeting him half way. Nope. It had to be his way. It got to the point, where I developed anxiety about him coming over and soon didn’t even want him at my house. There needs to be negotiations on both sides here, or someone’s just being unreasonable.


In the second flip side scenario, he’s constantly critiquing you on something near and dear to your heart, because it’s risky and doesn’t seem logical to him. Like changing your job, following your dreams, or a cause close to your heart. Here’s where things get mucky. Do you fight the battle, try to reason with him, and move forward anyways, while he nags you?


Task 4: Do you know your deal breakers…

Know your limit. Being in a relationship, you need to know your boundaries and deal breakers. Boundaries represent reasonable requests fair to both individuals in the relationship. It’s about fairness not control, and boundaries shall not be unreasonable. You need to assert yourself fairly, and express to him your concerns represent fairness and respect.


Deal breakers represent your limit. If someone you love does __________(your deal breaker), then you will leave the relationship. By the way, you’re only allowed to have five or six deal breakers. If you have more, then you’re the problem.


To know whether something’s actually a deal breaker, use this example: I’ve had people tell me they hate smokers. They won’t date someone who smokes. It’s a deal breaker. To which I ask: “Really? If your husband of twenty years became a smoker, you would leave him?”. Most of them say no they wouldn’t leave him. Not a deal breaker then. If they answered yes, that’s a deal breaker.


Because you can’t pin anything directly bad on an ideal lover, he’s hard to leave. It’s not like he hits you or cheats. He just feels restricting. Is that an OK reason to leave someone? Yes. If it’s a deal breaker for you. You need to know your deal breakers to understand your limits. When he’s approaching a deal breaking limit, have a conversation warning him.


In my case, one of my deal breakers was restricting me on who I am. My ideal lover boyfriend started making me feel guilty about hanging with my friends, friends popping by, and finally completely against me quitting my job to peruse my dream (this business). At the time it was hard to put my finger on why I needed to leave him. He was hitting on one of my deal breakers, and I didn’t know it until I sat down and determined my deal breakers.


Again, most individuals find this task especially difficult to execute properly. Rectifying these situations requires effective communication both parties can understand. We know there’s a communication gap needing to be bridged correctly, so the ideal lover can understand. I was reluctant to write this task, because I don’t want anyone prematurely leaving their boyfriend. I want you to do everything within reason before this option. Try emotionally expressing yourself and negotiating in a way he will understand. Give him several chances and reminders. I did with my ideal lover before leaving him. However, I wanted to communicate this task, so you at least have the information. Please feel free to contact me for guidance on your personal situation.


Firstly, remember it starts with you. Determining your boundaries and deal breakers help with your own confidence, values, and self worth. Not to mention learning to keep calm and communicate effectively. You need to respect and love yourself. It sounds cliche, but it’s the foundation of having a great relationship. Dating an ideal lover can sometimes make you think you’re going crazy, because you can’t put your finger on what’s wrong. Oh, and everyone thinks he’s the best ever, so they might label you as the problem shall you want to dissolve the relationship. Those people don’t know what it’s like to deal with constant criticism and restriction. That being said, we can’t put the blame fully on him, because you should recognize you allowed it to happen.

I do empathize with you, I’ve dated several ideal lovers.


Liked this post? If you feel a few of your lady friends can use a leg up building a dedicated partnership, learning about seduction profiling, defense strategies, and becoming the best version of themselves, please share!

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